SkaDate: If You Build It, They Will Come

So now that you know all about online dating, you decide that it isn't enough. You figure that you have a voice too. So you want to build your own online dating site. Well SkaDate is the software for you! It is very easy to implement. It is user friendly and best of all it is pretty reasonable...$350 for 1 license!  You can buy two for $600 and three for $900. The 3 license version comes with mobile capabilities. They have an upsale for $95/mth, which gives you more features and more support. They have TONS of features and templates. I looked through what they had to offer, and it almost made me want to start a site! I would recommend  this to way to startup to anyone. You could be up and running in a few days!

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Communication is oh so important!

Differences in communication styles of the Sites eHarmony and Match.com

Using Match.com users are able to search matches immediately after signing up and can locate or talk to people found in their search. The match pair is remained hidden until it is communicated that they choose to “reveal themselves”, this usually occurs when the pair decide to meet face to face for an official date. This site is useful for people that don’t mind making initial contact for their match and prefer that hands on experience; as opposed to leaving the decision up to an algorithm made up by some person in a computer lab. In contrast eHarmony strongly advises that members take precautions before making open ended contact; they have a set of guidelines for information exchange. This can take weeks to complete and is only good for people with some patience, this is cited as one of eHarmonys biggest drawback. The site also offers templates for first time emails to avoid the awkwardness of the situation, which most users loved. Because of the guidelines and restrictions eHarmony has on their site, it may take a while to ever meet your match. Although the success rate of eHarmony is one of the top; the “dating training wheels” need to be removed at some point so a real relationship can develop. It’s said that communication is the basis for any and every relationship, so online dating sites need to always improve this criteria to boost the amount of people that join their sites and success rates.

Hitch: The Online Dating University

Do you still have questions about online dating? Is there something else that you would like to know? If so, there is a school for you. Online dating org has an "Online Dating University" for you! On this website, you can view related articles, reviews of the top sites, safety issues and anything else that you might can think of.

They just had their "17th Edition of the Carnival of Online Dating" . It included links to articles by very respected writers, experts and more. I must say, that it is a little sad though. This is what we have come to. I know that we all can use some help, but what ever happened to good ole fashioned trying. It seems like we are trying to take the error out of relationship making, which to me might make more bad relationships. I mean no one is perfect. However, if you say the right things, act the right way and come off as the perfect soul mate, what happens when the real you shows up? What happens when you can't get more coaching when you need it, or the situation dictates something different than what you read? Most of have seen the movie "Hitch" with Will Smith and Kevin James. It ended up working out for Kevin and Will's characters, but that is Hollywood, and not real life.

What do you think? Knowledge is good, but wouldn't you rather see the bad and decide if you can tolerate it?

Avoiding the Awkward Pauses!

Everyone knows how awkward a first date can be unless you already know the person somehow. With online dating, meeting someone for the first time can be nerve racking! "What are we going to talk about?" is the first thing that goes through your mind. In order to relieve yourself of this stress and calm your nerves, simply come up with a list questions/topics to talk about and avoid the awkwards pauses. A good conversation starter is always "How was your day?". This shows your politeness and manners which gives your date a good first impression. Your putting the focus on them and allowing them to talk a little about themselves and who doesn't like to do that? It also gives you a chance to see what kind of person they are. Do they constantly complain and talk about all the crappy things that happened that day? Do they focus on the positive things that happen? Or do they take the bad things that happened and turn them into something positive? This tells a lot about how people percieve things. Then, of course, you can go into the questions of things that they do in their spare time such as hobbies, etc allowing you to see if there is anything you have in common. If this is the case, this gives you an opportunity to build on the thing you have in common. You're able to connect and allow for a growing conversation. This leads to more questions building on the thing you have in common like how long you've been doing it, why you are interested in it, etc. On the other hand, if its something you don't have in common, your now giving the person time to tell you about it, putting the attention on him/her. Putting the focus on your date will gain you brownie points. It shows your curious about the person, your a good listener and allows you to learn more about the person. But these are just a few simple ways to avoid the awkwardness a lot of people dread on a first date with someone you've never met before. Next time you go on a date, be prepared with topics/questions!

Online Dating on Facebook?

Is Facebook stealing the spotlight? New features available on Facebook now seem to imitate features on paid dating sites. One of the ways Facebook has been stealing away customers is by adding features, such as the new subscription button, available on everyone’s profile. The button allows people to subscribe to things you post without being your friend. It is kind of like followers, on twitter or a fan club, not to sure what do you guys think? Anyways this feature allows you to pick certain information to share and you can group this information as wanted. This allows people to create groups and almost a sub-profile on Facebook. Dating online through Facebook isn’t so uncommon, so will this continue to grow with every Facebook update? I think so; Facebook has enough users to undermine the traditional online dating sites. As soon as users incorporate their “dating profile” through subscriptions, why pay somewhere else? 

Top Profile Turnoffs

When you are online dating, the biggest way for someone to understand who you are is through your profile. Bellow, are the top turnoffs for men and women when looking at others profiles.

Top Turnoffs For Men:

1. If a woman states all the things she does not want, instead of listing the things she does want. This makes him feel like he will never be able to you happy.
2. He does not want to here the same old things or know all of your accomplishments. He wants to get to know the real you.

Top Turnoffs For Women:

1. If a man does not have correct grammar and spelling mistakes on his profile. That catches a girl's eye very quick, but not in a good way!
2. If a guy is careless about which photos he posts. Those hat and sunglasses photos probably look nice, but she is going to want to see the full picture of you!

The only thing you need to remember is be as honest as possible! Trust and honesty are key in a relationship. You don't want to start off the relationship by lying!


Resources:
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/jaime-richards/worst-online-dating-profiles-ive-ever-seen

How to Succeed

So we have spoken quite a bit about the safety of online dating and what you should do to ward away “the weirdos”, but what about tips on how to succeed online and actually meet someone great.  We found this article about how to NOT screw up online dating.  One thing the article suggested was that you should put your “best foot forward” when filling out your profile.  One statement though caught our eye and made us start thinking.  The article said to not talk about your shortcomings.  Well what really are shortcomings?  We all agreed that shortcomings meant something that you think others will find unsatisfactory.  But the key word here is shortcomings in your eyes.  What some people may see as a shortcoming may be something attractive to another.  We came up with a couple of examples and we wanted to know what you guys thought.  The best example we could come up with was the smoker.   The person that smokes could see that as a shortcoming but if they were to meet another smoker then there would be no problem.  A smoker could also meet a non-smoker that simply didn’t care that they smoked.   Another common example would be a person that’s overweight.  They might see their weight as a shortcoming but some woman simply like a bigger man… a sense of protection.  We just found it odd that so many of the articles and responses we have found on online dating are ones concerned with how dangerous and unsafe online dating could be.  This one was actually tips on how to succeed in online dating and some were very interesting.  What do you guys think?

http://www.faceromance.com/online_dating/

Starting over made easy

Relationships have their ups and down, but when it's over it's over. Whether in your 20s, 30s, 40s or whatever age group, for a lot of people, it's hard to just start over. It seems to be especially hard for people who have been in long term relationships and middle aged people who don't like the bar and club atmosphere. What are they suppose to do, give up? Online dating has provided an opportunity for these groups of people. It even makes it easier. The profile tests they take when signing up provides a better match than someone you may meet at a bar or club and realize you have nothing in common and then the search starts again. At least with an online dating account you are provided with many options with people who shares common interests and personalities. People who don't have the time to go and find their sole mate, online dating makes it easy. And for the people who may have forgot how to date because their coming out of a long term relationship, this provides an easy out for them. The hard part of looking for someone is now made easy!

Whatz yo Flava?

  In this "have it your way" Burger King age, online dating offers a plethora of choices for even the most discerning date/relationship seeker. Internet dating sites have a low barrier of entry for doing business. You can buy a domain name for $.99, get a online server and a basic design for less than $500. This has created a landscape littered with niche sites aimed at capturing even the smallest crowd of people.
  We waited is for people who "say" they are virgins and would like to hook up with other virgins. The site conducts background checks on its perspective members to ensure they are virgins (how they do that is an entirely different conversation!). Veggie lovers can find someone who enjoys the bounty of the land as much as they do. Have you ever wanted to find someone who loves the punk rock lifestyle as much as you do? What about that yearning desire to find your soul mate behind bars? Are you a woman with the burning desire to upgrade your cupsize? Click through these links to discover your paradise!
  There are literally thousands of other sites. Sites for Trekkies, Harvard grad lovers, little people, tall people and everything in between. Crime should not be so high in the world. Just get on the internet, find what you want, relieve your stress and live the rest of your life.




http://www.switched.com/2009/08/05/17-niche-dating-sites-for-specialty-lovers/
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/06/fashion/06Niche.html

Let's talk revenue!

Let’s talk more money.

All online dating sites have practically the same business models, either you subscribe to the site or it is available at no charge, but how do these sites collect revenue and keep their business growing with a market saturated by small time players trying to get a piece of pie in such a vast market place. In the competitive market today, some sites need an edge over others. Let’s figure out how this competitive advantage is obtained.

The cost of running an online site is practically nothing compared to the potential revenues. Most of the content needed to run the site is provided by the users, with their photographs and personal content, hence there is a constant flow of free material. The amounts of employees needed to run the site is minimum, even for fortune 500 sites. This makes the margin of profit almost a super margin, some companies averaging up to 1 million dollars or more a year per employee. This mostly pertains to the mega sites like match.com and eHarmony, but niche sites are jumping on the bandwagon too, by selling personal ads to established web communities across the internet.  The key to these monster sites successes is aggressive marketing and business acquisitions, and making smart partnerships to expand the websites to more customers. Getting customers to fill out a free profile and post pictures is easy, also allowing to browse people is appealing to online users but in order to contact potential mates, the user must take the plunge and pay to subscribe to most sites. This is where the business model of most online dating sites gets tricky because millions of users are registering daily but after the free time trial most cancel or never sign back on, only the heartbroken return with wallet in hand. Why do you think so many people would take the time to fill out a free profile but not pay to find potential mates contact information? Any other ways you think these businesses acquire revenue? 

Pay Up or Get it for Free?

Today, there are so many online dating sites on the Internet. How do you know which sites to use? How do you know which sites are better? Not many people are willing to pay for something when they can get it for free. One thing to consider if it is free is the quality. Most believe if they pay for something, they should get a better quality of service or product.

When paying for an online dating service you are paying for many things that a free online dating service would not offer. These things include having better success in finding your match, people on the site are more serious, and everyone is screened. If you are very serious about finding your match, you are going to want to know the success rate of using the site, as well as finding someone who is as serious as you are. A lot of people are still skeptical about using an online dating service for security reasons. When paying for the online dating service, everyone is screened. This means you know this is a real person and not a scam.

Even though you have to put money into this service it is not as expensive as some may think. The fee is typically pretty small, sometimes even as small as the amount you would pay going to the movies or out to dinner. If you go out with friends more than once a month, you can pay for online dating! Some sites that do require a payment, also offer a free trial or the first month free at times. This allows people to try out the site to see if they like it better than the free sites out there. Usually, people do like it better. Would you pay for online dating?

Soures:

http://bestonlinedatingsites.info/paid-vs-free-online-dating-membership-sites/

Interesting

Hey guys back for another post.  The online dating guys here and we wanna talk about some history.  We know we touched on the history as a whole with online dating in our presentation but how about the United States.  We know it was originally started as a form of speed dating by a Rabbi but we found some interesting facts about the U.S.  The first article we would like to talk about came from the New York post.  They talk about how the concept of online dating started in New York “… on a visit to the World’s Fair, in Queens, Lewis Altfest, a twenty-five-year-old accountant, came upon an open-air display called the Parker Pen Pavilion, where a giant computer clicked and whirred at the job of selecting foreign pen pals for curious pavilion visitors.”  You answered a few questions then it punched out the name and address of someone around the world you could write to.  This idea was then taken by a couple Harvard grads and they developed an algorithm, much like the ones used in today’s online dating, were used to match people that live close to them in New York.  I found it interesting that they though it “would be little more than a gimmick and a fad” and look what it has grown into today. 

We found another article that talked about how online dating has been around since the internet has been around.  We never thought about it this way but some of the features of the first internet providers were forms of online dating.  “Much of this was spurred on by the Internet service providers themselves. Services such as Prodigy and America Online offered chat rooms and forums for singles and heavily advertised these features.”  Meeting someone in a chat room is basically internet dating.  Most of us agreed that they saw online dating simply as something you pay for then read a profile then meet them. Period!!  But things like chat rooms and instant messenger services were all early forms of online dating.  Do you guys see that as online dating?  Now that we have done the research we think online dating has been around since “online” has been around.  What do you guys think?

Read more http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/07/04/110704fa_fact_paumgarten#ixzz1buQgUTgN

http://brainz.org/history-online-dating/

Pay for what you want...cause you might not get it if you don't

At the end of the day we are all human beings. With that being said, most people don't consider oral sex to be cheating. So why would they consider Craigslist to be "online dating"? I mean, it is untraceable if you know what you are doing. You can set up a meet and greet, handle your business, and be on your merry way. A sophisticated Craiglist online dater might even investigate before the meet and greet. An online dating website can surely be hacked. Heck, even your friends might spot you there. Even worse, your spouse or loved one may join just to see if you are on there.

Chris Lee, a married two-term New York Republican resigned from office in Febuary after it was reported that he had tried to get dates with women on Craigslist. Well first off Mr.Republican, you don't post a real pic of yourself. Secondly, you work in politics...don't you know that emails and texts are traceable! Haven't you ever seen "The Wire" on HBO. Well if you had Mr. Lee, you would know to get a burner and send a fake pic. Worst of all, you actually put that you are a lobbyist:
"Hi, Hope I'm not a toad :) i'm a very fit fun classy guy. Live in Cap Hill area. 6ft 190lbs blond/blue," he wrote. "39..Lobbyist. I promise not to disappoint."
I fail to see the logic  or common sense in some of the people we send to politics. The woman Googled your name (why you gave that is a befuddling mystery), and found out you were married and lying. Of course she called the Gawker and probably several other media outlets, because everyone gets paid for their 15 minutes of fame nowadays.
We are not advocating cheating or the use of Craigslist to find your soulmate. However, if you go to California to get legal marijuana, you might not get blasted, since they do have client business codes of ethics. Next time just pay to join a secure site, and go for broke. They have niche sites for affairs. Hackers are less likely to pursue you than a scorned woman who has been lied to. According to our crack research department, they are less scary and dangerous also!

New York Rep resigns

http://www.myfoxny.com/dpp/news/politics/new-york-rep-chris-lee-resigns-amid-craigslist-dating-scandal-20110209-ncx

Is online dating safe?!

Since online dating has become more popular, it still sits in the back of peoples mind whether its actually safe to date online. Personally I have never online dated and the idea behind it leaves me to wonder, like everyone else, if its safe. I believe the way you go about online dating has a huge impact on the safety of it. There are simple safety precautions such as making sure your computer is secure, finding a reputable site and creating a separate email account that help protect you. I have known a couple of people who have online dated and it has been successful for them. One friend met a guy online and they decided to finally meet. Well instead of meeting one-on-one, they decided to make it a group outing, which provided a safer environment. Neither knew the other person, so they figured by meeting in a group, it would be less risky. They are still together to this day. Of course, you don't always have to meet in a group setting, there are always other precautions you can take and sites you can reference to make the first meeting a success. I found one site with very useful tips for safe online dating and hope if you do online date....you take the time to look over the site. I thought it was very informative.

http://www.onlinedatingsafetytips.com/GettingStarted.cfm

Obstacles in Finding Love

There are many obstacles when finding love. It seems like some already know how to overcome these obstacles, but the ones who do not can find help through online dating! The top five obstacles when trying to find love are:

1.      Never switching up your routine.

2.      Family/Friends and responsibilities

3.      Religious Beliefs

4.      Being addicted to work.

5.      Living in a small community.

While online dating may be new to some, it is there to try and help you find exactly what you are looking for. The obstacles mentioned above do not really seem like obstacles in the online dating world. How so? Three out of the five obstacles are automatically eliminated when you online date and the other two are all up to you! The questionnaires mentioned below help out a lot when you are trying to find someone who has the religious beliefs you are ok with. The online dating world is so large it helps you find people that live where you live, along with the surrounding cities! Online dating also switches up your daily routine. Having your profile posted online and putting yourself out there is not a typical daily routine for most! The only way to find love is getting out there and being proactive! As to having responsibilities and being addicted to work, may not be able to be solved through online dating but that is something you have to want to change for yourself. Now that you know how to overcome the obstacles, get out there and start online dating!

Resources:
http://www.trcb.com/relationships/love/the-obstacles-that-prevent-people-from-finding-love-33053.htm

Where is my soulmate?

All dating website use some type of questionnaire to get familiarized with their clients in order to make matches effectively. Every online dating website has some different technology behind their questions, these are called algorithms. For example, eHarmony, who founded the don’t try this yourself approach, requires their clients to answer around 250 questions about themselves in purpose of formulating some sort of personality analysis. eHarmony does not allow their clients to browse through people on the website; instead they send you a list of potential matches, this cuts down on the heavy traffic on the website and finds specific people that suit the clients wants and needs. eHarmony has found this type of matchmaking highly successful; with about 120 marriages a day. The success rate of this website is due to the combination of technology, pseudoscience, alchemy and marketing. Using large databases with business intelligence, psychological profiling, matching algorithms and a variety of communications technologies, they convert one time users into paying monthly subscribers.  Let’s make some sense out of this… The questionnaire is used to profile the client; from there the site matches up the answers to an algorithm, and next produces a list of potential matches. They are not trying to find your clone, but based on the answers provided the algorithm picks people that will mesh well together. Every online dating site has a specific algorithm for their websites, all claiming to find the “most compatible” matches. How do you think these sites engineer their questions to find matches? What about people that fib a little on their answers?

Mitchell, Robert. Online Dating: The technology behind the attraction. February 13, 2009. Computer World. http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9127711/Online_dating_The_technology_behind_the_attraction. Accessed on October 13, 2011.

This is too easy

Now that we have given you some facts about online dating and what it entails let's talk about it.  We found it shocking that when we did our presentation only one person said they have online dated.  At least only one person admitted it.  I personally (Aaron) have never been on a pay site or anything like that.  But I have met someone then friended then on facebook then started dating them.  That is still online dating by definition.  So we will ask again how many have online dated?  We think it’s actually safer than meeting someone in a bar.  Yes at least you know the person you are talking to in the bar is who they say they are and what they look like, but past that they could lie about age or marital status or number of kids.  Anything you hear from someone you meet online or in person could be false.  So you are in the same boat there.  But we have been thinking about this and we think that the people who are on the pay sites are the safest ones to meet.  If they took the time to fill out the profile and pay the money then they are at least somewhat serious about dating.  Someone you meet in a bar might just want a late night rendezvous.  Also, as we presented in our presentation, some sites offer things like verification of who you are and background checks.  Can you do any of that when you meet someone out and about?  We think not.  All in all we think it might be safer to meet someone online and it might be more productive.  The people on pay sites are more likely to be serious and respond.  We want to know what you guys think.  Do you think it's safer or less safe? Does it depend on whether or not it's a pay site or a free one?  Does it matter the age or gender?  Talk to us guys!!!!!!!

Group Blog - Online Dating

What to think about online dating?  Some laugh at the idea that you can “order” a date, others see it as a viable way to meet other singles.  With our first post we would like to give you some facts and ideas about online dating then see what you guys have to say about it.  We found it interesting that online dating really started from a form of speed dating.  Still don’t know what we’re talking about ?  Anyone seen 40 Old Virgin?  Then you have definitely seen speed dating.  Whether you laugh or love the idea of online dating we bet everyone either has been involved or knows someone who has participated in some form of online dating.  Have you ever met a stranger on Facebook?  Maybe through a mutual friend, but if you have ever met someone on Facebook then you have online dated.  It has turned from a thought into a multimillion dollar industry in just a few years. For example, “Match.com net revenue reached $ 90.5m in Q1 2008. Revenue growth was driven by an 8% and 12% increase in international subscribers and revenue per subscriber, respectively, and 6% growth in revenue per subscriber domestically. Spark Networks reported Q1 revenue for jDate.com of $8.7m, an increase of 5% compared to the Q1 2007. Q1 revenue for General Market Networks (American Singles) was $2.6m, a decrease of 48% compared to Q1 2007.”

            There are some concerns today of the online dating industry collapsing due to the popularity of social networking. The main reason for this is because you get similar features when using social networking. For example, people meet each other everyday through Facebook via emails, instant messaging, and suggested people you may know. Facebook is free unlike Match.com where you have to pay over one hundred dollars for a six month package. We are sure you have seen a couple Facebook stalkers out there!  Not only is Facebook free, but other dating sites, like Plentyoffish, are free, causing other sites to lose money as well as traffic. The main advantage we see to using an online dating site that requires a payment, is the fact that some offer safety measures, such as background checks, as well as more filtered information on your perfect match! “Does Plentyoffish.com really represent a threat to the dating industry? Are many of your members also members of paid dating sites? Well I think it really depends on the market. [In] cities where there's a lot of wealth and a lot of money, I don't think Plentyoffish will have that deep of a market penetration but in other areas, for instance in Canada, Plentyoffish is by far the largest dating site. And Lava Life if you look at all the rankings, it's lost about 50% of its traffic in the last year.” Still not convinced to use online dating? Even celebrities, like Charlie Sheen, Halle Berry, and Jennifer Aniston, have dabbled in online dating before!

Jennifer Aniston

“Poor Jennifer Aniston has been so unlucky in love. She lost hubby Brad Pitt to that conniving wench Angelina Jolie. It seems that she has finally given up on reconciling with Pitt. This year it was reported that Aniston has hired a professional online matchmaker, Kelleher International, paying them six figures to help her find the love of her life. It has been reported that Aniston is so anxious to finally find Mr. Right she’d pay an agency a million bucks to help her. Here’s hoping she’s successful in her search and doesn’t ever cave in to take Brad back. You go, girl!”

SO, IS ONLINE DATING YOUR THING…?

References:
http://www.onlinepersonalswatch.com/news/2008/05/matchcom-revenu.html
http://www.dating-weblog.com/50226711/opw_interview_plentyoffish_ceo_markus_frind.php
http://anythinghollywood.com/2010/01/jennifer-aniston-has-joined-a-dating-site/